Santa In The Studio

Abrey Adams Watterson of Abrey Adams Photography is hosting "Santa In The Studio!" on Dec. 16th and 17th from 5-7PM. Santa Claus will be in her studio, located at 1348 Overland Ave in Burley, both nights! Come get your picture taken with Santa for $10! Abrey is donating half of the profits from Santa In The Studio to help us get BrynLee to Boston!

For more informatio please visit her facebook page here.

Home Sweet Home

(7/17/11)
Being home has been such a wonderful feeling! I really had mixed feelings about coming home.. I was excited, but so nervous at the same time.. I wanted to be home more then ever, to hold my kids, have a normal routine, and finally relax! But in the back of my mind I was thinking, "How am I going to do all of this without a nurse!" BrynLee isn't alot of work, but when she was fussy and we had to be somewhere I just handed her over to the nurse and she would rock her until she fell asleep.. They always took care of her wound and emptied her urine bag. They taped the tube on her belly and they gave her all of her meds.. I was never there at night, we left by 10 and didn't come back until 7:30 the next morning! This was all going to be new to me!

When we got home BrynLee snuggled right in. She's my first baby that's actually like a bassinet! She's a quiet sleeper and doesn't really grunt or squirm unless she's going to wake up and ready to eat.. She likes the swing, but not for very long.. She doesn't like the binki, which didn't surprise me too much because neither did Aybri! For the most part, she's very easy.. She wakes up to eat, I change her diaper, she eats some more and back to bed.. She has gauze that needs to be changed with every diaper change and medicine that she has to take once a day!
The first night we were home she went to bed about 10:30, got up at 2 and again at 6.. It was nice because for some reason after we were home the exhaustion really set in.. I think it was because I finally let myself relax! At the hospital it was go, go, go - all the time, whether I was tired or not! At home I could finally sit down and I knew I didn't have to run around a hospital all day!
Yesterday (Saturday) BrynLee got her first bath at home.. I had Austyn helping me, so BrynLee was being a little impatient! We got it done as quickly as possible! It was so nice to have her smell like a baby, with yummy baby lotion, and not a hospital! Every day in the hospital I told her she'd like home so much better because it didn't smell like that stinky hospital! (Not that it smelled bad, just like a hospital!)
Saturday night she didn't sleep quite as well.. She slept until about 1:30, then wanted to eat every hour until 4:30.. Not sure what that was about, but hey, it could have been worse! I slept in until after 8 and since Jocko took the girls to six-mile resivoir today I got a great nap!
I didn't think I was ready to be alone, but I've done pretty good so far.. They have been gone for almost 6 hours now and I am getting a little antsy, but hopefully they'll be home soon! I slept for 2 hours which was so nice! I even woke up on my own.. Not to an alarm, or a crying baby, or fighting kids! It was so nice!
So now I just wait for Jocko and my girls to get home.. It's crazy how much I miss them even though they've only been gone for a short time!

Going Home

(7/15)
Friday morning we got up early and headed to the hospital.. We absolutely didn't want to miss the Urology resident so we made sure we'd be there by 7:30.. Jocko made the comment that since we were going to get there early they probably wouldn't show up until noon! Isn't that the truth.. So we got there, made sure they hadn't been there, and waited! And waited! LOL.. They are always there before 8 and I think it was about 8:30 before they showed up.. Go figure! We were still just as happy to see them though!
She came in and told us she was going to pull BrynLee's other stint.. This stint was coming out through her belly so I knew better than to stay.. We had the curtain pulled since I had just finished breast feeding, so I could have just stood on the other side of the curtain, but I was headed for the hall! I didn't want to have to hear her scream again! I got about halfway across the room when I heard, "There's really no reason you can't go home after today." Jocko asked, "After today, so we can go home tomorrow?" And she said, "No, you can probably go this afternoon!" I didn't even make it to the door before I turned around and headed back in there! I was so excited I didn't even realize what I was doing! By the time I turned around the curtain she said, "There we go, all done!" Apparently it wasn't that bad because BrynLee wasn't even fussing! And I was preparing for blood, guts and screaming! LOL..
Jocko was so excited he wanted to head and clean the room right then! I told him if he wanted to wait for me I'd be a little bit, but if he wanted to go that was fine.. He waited.. A little impatiently, but he waited!
We went back to the room and cleaned, checked out and back to the hospital all in about 30 minutes! We didn't want to miss the doctors for rounds, so we hurried!  (Remember this for a later post! haha)
When we got back, sure enough, we'd missed them! Our nurse said it was all very short and sweet. They basically said, "Get em out of here!"
We filled prescriptions, went down to Dr. Wallis's office and scheduled BrynLee's appointment, called the pediatrician and scheduled that, had to fight with insurance for a minute and ate lunch.. When we got back to the room we waited! For what, I have no idea! Paperwork I suppose, but there really wasn't even much of that..

The nurse was trying to find out how they wanted us to transport her! Technically, she's supposed to be carried out in a carseat, but where she has to have her car bed, that's pretty much impossible! So they told her to push her out in her bed.. Ya, I can see security running us down because we're pushing a baby around in a hospital bed! I suggested what they did with me when Koby was discharged from the NICU.. They wouldn't even let him leave in a carseat, I had to hold him while being pushed in a wheelchair until we got outside, then we could put him in his carseat.. So she asked the head nurse and she said that was ok..
We waited some more, I nursed BrynLee and finally we got the ok to go.. Jocko had already made 15 trips back and forth from the room to the car and back! They'd bring us one piece of paper and he'd have to run it to the car! LOL.. Ok, I'm exaggerating a little.. ; )

We got her into the carbed (it's seriously a pain in the @$$!) and headed for the freeway! She cried until the bottom of the hill, but then she was bounced and vibrated to sleep! She didn't look comfortable at all! I was sitting in the middle row and she was in the very back. I couldn't leave her back there alone, so that's where I rode home.. I made a few phone calls and at about Brigham I finally laid down for a nap.. I didn't feel like I'd slept long, but when I woke up we were in Juniper! I wasn't awake long before BrynLee was up too.. I got her out and fed her the rest of the way home!
It was so, so great to see home! Nothing has felt better.. For some reason, that's when the exhaustion set in! I haven't been more tired in my life! Maybe it was because I knew I could finally relax! I didn't have to be running back and forth from the hospital to the room.. I didn't have to walk 100 miles every day! I didn't have to make sure my phone was right next to me in case the hospital called!
I couldn't believe Aybri when I saw her! She was HUGE! I know I was away from her for over a week and the hole time I was holding a tiny baby, but I know she grew! She looked so big! I know her hair grew and got sun bleached! It was so good to see her and give her a hug! She acted like it was nothing.. Like we were picking her up from a trip to Burley, not 2 1/2 weeks later! LOL.. She's such a little trooper!
Later that evening sissy got home! She wasn't wanting to come home until she got here.. Then I think she was ready to be here! She's definately gotten some sun, she has the perfect little swimsuit tan!
BrynLee ate at about 10PM and didn't get up again until 2AM, then again at 6.. I was surprised because I'd never been with her through the night.. Some nurses told me she'd sleep most of the night, and some nurses told me she was fussy, so I had no idea what to expect.. It works for me! At least she wasn't up every 2 hours! :)
Wow, what a journey! I know it's not even close to over, but the last 2 weeks have been so trying! So emotional, so exhausting, yet so humbling! I love my baby girl and I wouldn't have her any other way! She's amazing.. So sweet and so special! I love you so much BrynLee!
We get to go home!

Day of Visits!

(7/14)
Thursday morning we were running behind! It was the first time we weren't at the hospital before 7:45! We made it up to the NICU and were washing our hands when the urologist popped her head in and told us the good news! (Good thing she saw us, because we didn't see her!)
She said where that stint had pulled out a little the night before they just took it out! That was GREAT news! Better than we could have hoped! Originally the plan was that they take one stint out Friday, the other out Saturday, then we had to do a 24-48 hour stay with BrynLee in the NICU, then we could go home! So we were planning on Sunday or Monday for going home.. When we found out they pulled the stint out a day early, that meant we could go home a day early! Now we were looking at Saturday or Sunday! It was really awesome news!
When the attending came in for rounds that morning we were excited to share the news with him! I'm sure he already knew, but we told him like it was a big surprise! LOL.. He really has to think we're crazy! So they were talking their doctor talk (where they usually lose me!) and all of a sudden he looks at me and says, "You look like a capable mom, this is baby #4, you don't have to do the 24 hr stay in the NICU!" Really? Did I hear that correctly? I was so happy! That meant they would take the second stint out Friday morning we'd be able to go home Saturday! It just kept getting better!
After rounds we waited for Glen and Janis Carnahan to come for a visit.. They were wanting to take us to lunch so after we showed off BrynLee, we headed out to lunch! I learned a very valuable lesson that day! Never ride in a car with Glen in SLC! LOL.. I love Glen to death, but man he's a crazy driver! I literally had a death grip on Jocko's hand.. The funniest part was that he was cussing everyone else! He kept saying, "These idiot drivers!" LOL.. It was hilarious and terrifying at the same time!
They took us to Chuck-O-Rama and it was very good.. I was impressed for it being a buffet style dinner that it was so good.. Maybe it was because we were so sick of cafeteria food, but I thought it was wonderful! I was stuffed!
We made perfect timing because just as we were walking out the hospital called to say BrynLee was hungry..
After we got back and got BrynLee fed I got a message from Kallie that she was there.. It was visitors from there on out! Kallie was there for a bit, then Craig and Berdie showed up.. They weren't there for long before my grandpa , Donna, Steve and Barbara showed up! We had a whole hall full! It was great.. It sure made the time pass by faster when people were around..
Grandpa wanted to take us to dinner and Jocko and I were both still stuffed full from lunch.. We agreed to go and just eat light! We ended up at Sizzler so I had to have a steak! The last steak I'd had was when Jocko and I went to Red Lobster for our "pre anniversary" celebration! I needed a steak! It was a bad decision! It tasted so good, but I was miserably full the rest of the night!
We got back to the hospital in time to feed BrynLee and it was only 8 when we got done and headed back to the Ronald McDonald house.. It was nice to get back at a decent time! Especially since the night before was so late! We were both in bed and out before 9!

Late Night Phone Call

(7/13/11)
Wednesday night after BrynLee's bath we headed back to the Ronald McDonald house and got ready for bed.. We usually only stayed at the hospital until 9 or so, but with the bath it was after 10 before we even left.. I had just finished pumping and ready to crawl in bed when the phone rang.. It was the hospital.. Why were they calling me? I had just left there.. What was wrong!? Crazy people should know better than to call a parent at 11PM! LOL..
It was the charge nurse and she was calling to tell me that BrynLee's stint had lost the stitch holding it in and had pulled out over 3cm.. Was this good news or bad news? I didn't know, she didn't know.. Nobody knew! Well Urology would know, but the attending physician didn't want to page them that late, so we'd know first thing in the morning..
That is probably one of those situations where they HAVE to inform the parents of what's going on, but really? How was I supposed to sleep that night! I had a feeling it was ok, that it was good news, but who can be sure.. I didn't think I was ever going to get to sleep, but when I did apparently I was OUT! I didn't wake up until my alarm went off at 6:30!

Bath Time

(7/13)
Wednesday was a much better day! Jocko and I both woke up happy, like the previous day didn't effect us at all.. We had our usual morning and when the doctors came for rounds they said to quit the antibiotics and pull the PICC line.. That was great news! Not only is it good to get that PICC line out, but that meant 4 less tubes running from her body! Now all the wires came out the bottom of her blanket and it wasn't quite as easy to get her all tangled up! It's amazing how we could get her out of bed, carefully place her in my arms, carefully put her back in bed and everything was a mess like we'd tied her up in knots! No matter how hard we tried, she was always tangled!
Wednesday night we got to give BrynLee a bath for the first time.. It was so fun.. She was wide awake and so happy for the whole thing! We also got to put a shirt on her and I gave her a faux hawk! Ya, she was rockin the hawk!

Mad

(7/12/11)
Tuesday morning was an absolute mess! When we got to the hospital BrynLee was asleep as usual.. We waited for her to wake up and when she did we found the biggest mess! I'm not sure if I've posted much about the infection she got, so I'll insert a little info here..
{When she got the infection in her belly they had to re-open the incision line to get all the pus out and let it drain.. Jocko was there when they did this.. I knew better and left the room.. He told me it was a good thing I wasn't there because it even made him a little queasy and BrynLee was screaming!}
So that morning when I took her diaper off I noticed that nobody had put any gauze over her belly (which we were using to protect her wound, and absorb whatever it was that was draining out of the wound) and there was poop everywhere! Not only was it all over her and the blankets, but it was INSIDE her wound! I don't know about you, but when I think of poop inside an already infected wound (one that goes clear to my baby's bladder) I get SICK! Not physically sick, but PISSED OFF MAMA sick! I was so mad I was fuming! I really wanted to just slap someone!
We had the nurse helping us and BrynLee was just screaming! It was horrible.. She was trying to get more packing gauze into the wound, but it had been healing very good the last few days, so when she pushed it in there all she did was make her bleed. That's where I had to sit down.. I felt bad, I know she needed me, but it was either I sit down, or they pick me up off the floor! I'm not sure if it was the fact that she was screaming like she was, or the fact that she was bleeding (I'm usually ok with blood, so I think it was that I knew how bad she must be hurting!) but I was light headed and nausous! Jocko took my spot and I sat with my head between my knees.. They finally got her to where they could give her to me and she went right to nursing..
She was only eating for about 3 minutes when I looked down and realized the dressing on her PICC line was basically GONE! Not sure how this happened because when you actually want that tape to come off it's almost impossible! I told Jocko to get the nurse.. I showed her and she immediately called someone from the PICC team.. The PICC line goes in the the crease of the elbow and all the way in to just above the heart.. I was amazed at all that went into cleaning it and redressing it.. They told us it didn't get pulled out any, but there was another chance of infection.. She was already on antibiotics from the first infection and they were planning on pulling the line out the next day, so nobody seemed very worried.. Nobody but me, but I guess that's mama's job!
Soooo, after this wonderful morning we'd had, the urologist walks in.. FABULOUS! We told her what had happened with the poop in the wound and the fact that we couldn't get the packing gauze in.. So what does she do? She gets down there and starts digging around again! UGH, my poor girl.. I know the drs know what they're doing, but I wanted to tell her to stop so bad.. To just give her a break from screaming for 5 minutes.. Then I thought, just get it over with.. Just hurry up so I can hold her..
When I got her and started nursing it was about 30 seconds and she was out.. She was just exhausted from the 2 hours of screaming that she wouldn't even eat.. I just held her and rocked her and didn't want to put her down ever again.. I wanted to go home so bad at that moment! I wanted her to just be healthy with no problems! I couldn't even think about the future and all that lies ahead of us.. I was mad! Mad at the nurses, mad at the doctors, mad at the world.. Most of all mad that my baby is going to go through so much and the fact that that morning was nothing.. She, along with the rest of our family, still has soo much to endure!
The rest of Tuesday pretty much followed the path of the morning. I missed rounds because our phones only have service in certain spots and I didn't get Jocko's text until 10 minutes after he sent it and by the time I got there the drs were gone.. I had the attending INSIST we give BrynLee a bottle so we could take the feeding tube out.. I understand his concern, but when I say no bottle I mean no damn bottle! And guess what sweet cheeks, I'M THE MOM! LOL.. Then with all the tension and frustration Jocko and I weren't seeing eye to eye and were at eachother's throats most of the day!
I was more than happy to call it a night! Tomorrow is a whole new day, and that's all I had to look forward to!

DoNaTiOn

We are so very happy to announce that we will be making a donation (In BrynLee's Honor!) to the Ronald McDonald House of Salt Lake City! Without this place we would really have been in a mess! Not only did it save a tremendous amount of money, but it was also so very nice to come "home" to a nice home-cooked meal! 
{ After the holidays we'll be headed down to cook the house a meal! ;) }

It was also nice to spend time with and get to know other parents that had children over at Primary's! Some were only there a night or two, some had been there way longer than us and would remain there well after we were gone, and some were just starting their journey, like us!
If you would like to send anything down with us please let me know! Here are some of the things on their "wish list!"

Also, here is their Holiday Wishlist.. These are items they are giving to families that will be there over the Christmas Holiday!

I personally am taking down 6 baby blankets, a few (new) toys (toddler age) and non perishable foods! I have a TON of babyfood and baby cereals that BrynLee's never going to eat all by herself, so I'll be taking that down also! Ya know all those sample cans of formula you get from the hospital and in the mail after you have a baby!?! If you're like me you use one formula, not every formula that comes to your door! Well, send those extra formula's with us!

Also, we're taking down all our pop tabs! I've been saving up for 18 months and the steakhouse here in Malta has saved all their tabs too, so we should have quite a few! I can't wait to see how many we have! :)

You can get these off of pop cans, tunafish cans, soup cans, formula cans, etc! Any kind of tab works! If you have some you'd like to send let me know! :D

We'll be headed down next week sometime! It's sounding like it will be Tues, the 13th, but it may be Thurs the 15th! If you'd like any more information on this, or have any questions on how you can help, please email brynlee@brynlee2boston.com



Still Plugging Along

(7/11/11)
Being here for so long and just playing the waiting game means there will be some uninteresting updates! Monday was one of those days! We pretty much stayed at the hospital all day Monday.. BrynLee did great with nursing and didn't throw up any more after Saturday!
Where her left stint hadn't been draining for a few days they decided to do an ultrasound and make sure her kidney was ok! Sure enough it was and we were back to just waiting! We had an amazing nurse that decided to get us caught up on everything for discharge! We did our Infant CPR training and went through everything on the checklist.. It's amazing the things you have to know/do to get out of this place!
Bryn has to have a "special" carseat to go home in.. It's actually called a carBED, which has her laying flat because she can't have anything between her legs.. It looks very uncomfortable to me, but when we put her in and strapped her down she just slept! LOL.. She's so easy to please and such a happy baby!
Although she's doing pretty good with nursing, she did lose weight.. They didn't seem too worried about it, but it's always a concern when a baby loses weight..
The days are really running together lately! The groundhog day effect has really set in! Same thing different day.. But these boring days get us that much closer to home! :)

Rough Day For Mommy

(7/10/11)
BrynLee continued to nurse well on Sunday! She got 5 feeds in and did great every time! She still wasn't taking much in at that time, but that all comes with time.. She was still learning to suck and I've heard it's pretty hard work for them! Still as of today she hasn't thrown up since those first three feedings when she was gulping it down like she was starving! She's definately learned to pace herself! :)
Saturday morning I got a text from Nichole Erickson that she was in town and was going to stop by! It's always great when we have visitors! It seems to make the time pass by a little faster! That afternoon she stopped by and saw BrynLee.. It was time to nurse, so I fed her and headed to our hallway (I'm calling it OUR hallway from now on! I believe we've claimed it!) to sit and chat! She shared some very helpful advice as far as insurance goes, which is extremely helpful at this point! When she left she just had to give me a hug.. That dredded hug! UGH! It's amazing what you feel from different people, and from her I felt hope and strength, but most of all EMPATHY! She knows how I feel, she knows what this is like to sit here and not know, to still have hope even when the only answers you are getting from anyone is "I don't know!" I can't hug someone like that and not cry! Then she cries and we're both just one big mess! Thank you Nichole so much! You'll probably never know how much that one hug did for me! I really appreciate everything you've done for us!
After Nichole left I got to see my girls! My mom and grandma came by and for the most part it was pretty hectic! It usually is when you're trying to juggle nursing and life! Especially difficult nursing and hospital life! Austyn came back for a few minutes and kissed on her sister! She is so strong, but yet again, I see the hurt in her eyes too! She understands we need to be down here, but I know how bad she wants us home.. I know my kids are well taken care of, but it's not me taking care of them and that's what hurts! I'm so lucky to have such great family and friends who are willing to take my place until we can get home!
We all walked to the cafeteria to get something to eat and my phone rang.. I know who is calling when it's actually ringing.. It's the hospital! Eveyone else sends text messages.. I answered and sure enough she was ready to eat! So I left everyone to go back and nurse while they ate.. By the time I was done everyone was back and waiting for me in OUR hallway.. It was time to say goodbye.. I'd barely had a minute with them and maybe one kiss.. It wasn't long enough, but it was better than nothing.. Both the girls were tired and my mom and grandma had that drive ahead of them.. We walked them downstairs and the closer we got to the door the more my heart ached! I kissed Austyn and told her I loved her and to be a good girl, then Jocko gave me Aybri and I hugged her so tight! I knew it was the last time I was going to see her until we went home.. It took everything I had to wait until they made it out the door before I broke down! I didn't want them to see me upset.. Jocko really is the best! As much as I could feel he wanted to just sit and cry with me he held me and told me it was going to be ok and we'd see them again soon!

Nursing Begins!

(7/9/11)
Saturday morning we got up and headed to the hospital at the usual time. We had made plans Friday to start nursing Saturday, so I was pretty excited! The first three times BrynLee nursed she threw up.. I was immediately disappointed! Not in her, but in our situation! I had prayed and prayed the whole entire time I was pregnant that we wouldn't get another baby with reflux.. Instead we got Bladder Exstrophy.. LOL.. My first thoughts were, "Great, reflux on top of what we're already dealing with, just what we need!"
The nurse decided to talk to the doctor and see what he thought we should do.. At one point they suggested that we try a bottle.. (Up until this point I had insisted on no bottle! I still blame the bottle for Koby never wanting to nurse.. You can have your opinion, everyone does, but that's mine!) So we tried a bottle and she HATED it! I was so happy!
We all talked again and decided she was just getting way too much milk too fast.. When I pump I can get 5oz in the first 4-5 minutes of pumping, so even if she was only nursing for 4-5 minutes she was probably getting about 2-2 1/2oz.. She was eating fast and gulping, swallowing alot of air! So we just kept working at it and as she got it figured out we started doing alot better!
We were at the hospital almost ALL day Saturday! It's amazing how much time it takes when you are nursing! Plus we have so much stuff to do with her before and after we nurse it takes even longer! We have to change her diaper, which as soon as she has a clean one she usually poops again! So make that 2 diaper changes! We have to change the gauze that's over her wound, taker her temperature, empty and measure the urine in the bags, make sure all her cords and wires are where they need to be and finally we can get her out of bed to nurse!
She is such a good, content, happy baby! Most of the time she nurses, I burp her, lay her down and she goes right back to sleep! She'll sleep anywhere from 3-4 hours at a time and we do it all over again! The most she's slept was 6 hours! I'm hoping she does that at home! :)
When we did finally get out of the hospital we went to Nelson's Frozen Custard and got a concrete on the advise of one of the nurses in the room! It really was amazing! We stopped at Shopko again and grabbed a few things we needed and before we could even get out of there the nurse was calling us saying it was time to eat again! So then the race was on!
The last 2 feeds of the day she never threw up, so that was definately progress! As long as she's keeping it down and gaining weight, that puts us one step closer to home! Oh home.. How I miss you!

Family * Little Fire Scare

(7/8/11)
All of Jocko's family, my mom, grandma, and Austyn all came down on Friday! It was sure nice to see everyone! A good change of pace! They were all headed to the water park (Seven Peaks) in Provo on Saturday.. We wish we were able to go with them, but there's no way we could have been gone that long! It would have driven us both crazy! Jocko decided last minute that he wasn't going, but there was no way I was going to a water park only 10 days after having a baby! Ya, not happening! LOL..
That day we spent ALOT of time at the hospital! I'd have to say MOST of the day! Jocko's dad and Cutler showed up first, then Kip, Talia and their kids! I can't believe how big they are all getting! It's crazy! Teage is such a cute little stinker! The things he says crack me up!
A litle later Tiff and the rest of her kids showed up and Wasey even got to go in and see BrynLee.. (Nobody under 18 can go in unless they are a sibling!) Shhhhh, he's close enough to a sibling!
Then a while later my mom, grandma and Austyn showed up! I was sure happy to see my sissy! And I'm pretty sure she was happy to see me too! She came running all the way down the hall and jumped into my arms! It was such a great feeling to hold her again! Oh how I miss my babies!
After everyone left we came back to the RM house for a little nap.. I was exhausted! We ate dinner and slept from 6:30-7:30 (we can't be at the hospital during that hour because of shift change!) and it was so nice! A late nap, but still so nice! I felt like a zombie the rest of the night though! We went and saw BrynLee and kissed her for the kids!
My mom and grandma took Austyn and Aybri both to Jen's with them and Jocko's mom went to stay with his dad at the hotel, so we were all alone that night.. It felt so good, but so empty and quiet at the same time!
That night, exactly at midnight, the fire alarm at the Ronald McDonald house was going off! It took me a minute to figure out what it was, but once I did I decided I better wake Jocko up.. I said, "I think it's the fire alarm, should we get up?" He said we better, so I grabbed my computer and my backpack (my life is in there right now!) Jocko grabbed his wallet and the keys to the car and we headed down the stairs out the door! We stood out there with maybe 3 or 4 other people for probably 10-15 minutes until the alarm finally quit.. Here's the best part! Nobody ever came out to tell us everything was ok.. No fire department, no RM employee, NOBODY! I was and still am in shock about it! Then as we're headed back to our room one lady sticks her head out her door and asks if everything is ok.. I said, "Well, I'm not sure, but I think so!" She says, "Good, cuz I didn't want to wake my kids up!" Ugh, really!?! She sat in her room for 20 minutes with the fire alarm going off and that was her biggest concern?? Waking up her kids!?! Some people!
After we got back to our room, every time the AC would kick on I'd wake up thinking it was the dumb fire alarm again! Needless to say, I didn't sleep very well that night!

Cabella's ~ Broken

(7/7/11)
Thursday we got up and did our daily routine, heading to the hospital to see BrynLee.. We ate breakfast and headed to Lehi to get Aybri.. It sure is sad how I can miss her so much in such little time! She was alseep when Kallie and Tracy met us at Cabella's but as soon as she knew mom and dad were around, she woke right up! She sure had alot of fun there! Everything she saw was a "horse" of course, but it was so cute how she was amazed by every animal she saw! Even the birds and fish were "horse!" LOL.. It sure would have been alot more fun in Cabella's if we had some money to spend, but what do you do? It was still nice to walk around and look and laugh at Aybri!
We headed back to the hospital and instantly I felt so bad for Aybri.. The hospital hallway is no fun for anyone, let alone a very busy 14 month old! I told Jocko that as much as I love having her here with us, I thought she needed to go back home with his sister.. He agreed..
It tears me up in so many ways when I think about my kids and where they all are! I know they are happy and they're all taken care of, but I just can't wait until we can all be together again! It feels broken.. My family is broken right now and that makes me broken! I'm just glad the girls got to be together for the weekend! I know my little bogger missed her sissy! Even if she was sick of her in the first 5 minutes of seeing her, I know how much she missed her! They are best buds!

American Idol Live

(7/6/11)
I really don't remember much about Wednesday other than we got results back on her tests which told us she had an ecoli type of infection and the American Idol Live Tour 2011 concert we went to!
I hadn't followed Amercan Idol this year.. I feel like it's more of a popularity contest than a talent show! I sure wish I would have watched the season after going to that concert! It really was alot of fun!
Here is an update that I had posted to facebook Wednesday night:

"This morning when we got to the hospital we found out that early in the morning they found that BrynLee's wound they had closed was oozing pus.. They decided to open her back up (just a little) and pack gauze in it to help it drain.. I coudn't believe they were going to do it with us standin there, but I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it! Even tho I had just pumped 2 hrs before, I had to go somewhere, so that's where I went! When I got back Jocko said it was a good thing I didn't stay! It was gross, and she was MAD! I don't know how he does it.. Good thing he's so strong.. I want to be there for her, but me being a mess isn't helping her any! Kallie Rawlings came and picked up Aybri this afternoon so we could all go to the American Idol Live Tour 2011 concert! I was so sad to see her go, but ready for a little break.. We ran to walmart and went back to the RM house to take a nap! One more quick trip back to the hospital and we were headed to the concert! The Ronald McDonald house we're staying at had free tickets, and even tho we hadn't followed the season, we figured it would be fun.. Jocko's mom had followed the season and was pretty excited to go!
I really had alot of fun! BrynLee and Aybri both were on my mind every second, and every time my or Jocko's phone vibrated I was sure it was the hospital calling, but it never was! We did leave a little early to beat the traffic, and it's a good thing we did because they were doing construction on the road we had to take.. Of all nights! I feel so sorry for the people that got stuck in that mess! :(
I must say, James and is it Kasey? The afro hair guy, were my absolute favorite! Scotty was good too, but those two were awesome! :)
Tomorrow we'll head to Lehi to pick up Aybri and Jocko get's to go to Cabella's.. We can't afford to even look, but hey, just walking through there is fun all on it's own!
Other than the infection thing and having to open her belly back up, BrynLee had a really great day! Since the surgery she's had to have extra pain meds to keep her comfortable and today, she only had her regularly scheduled doses and was fine! That's great news! She even spent most of the day awake and just looking around! I held her for a little over an hour this morning and even though my back was killing me and my butt was numb, I enjoyed every second of it! She was wide awake when I got her up and I rocked her to sleep! Oh, what a great feeling it was!"  11:02PM  (7/6)

It's a good thing I had posted to fb! I never would have remembered all that! :)

Salt Lake City Bee's

(7/5/11)
They told me that as soon as we got BrynLee off the ventilator that she'd be able to nurse, but she was still in so much pain, and on so much pain medication, that she was sleeping alot! We decided to take advantage of the time we had to be away, so Tuesday afternoon we headed to Sugarhouse to do some shopping! We got a few things we needed from Shopko and when we were walking out the door I told Jocko, "I sure wish they had a Children's Place up here somewhere!" It wasn't 5 minutes later we drove around the side of the store and there it was! I was so excited! We got a cute outfit for BrynLee, an outfit and very cute hat (that she won't leave on!) for Aybri, and shirts for both Koby and Austyn! I love that store, they have the cutest stuff!



She was shoppin!

 We ate lunch at Pier 49 and it was very good! We talked about walking across the parking lot to TCBY, but by the time we got out of there everyone was full!

Tuesday evening we went to a Salt Lake City Bee's baseball game.. It was fun, but all I wanted to do was get back to my baby.. We'd been gone most of the day, and to be gone all night was killing me! Jocko had alot of fun and really enjoyed it! Aybri got her first baseball! The manager to the opposing team came up and asked if it was her first baseball game, we said yes and he gave her a ball! It was funny to see everyone fighting over fowl balls and home runs when we just got one handed to us!

It was the first baseball game any of us had ever been to! JoDene, Jocko, Aybri and I.. It really was alot of fun, but would have been alot funner if I didn't have a 6 day old baby in the hospital that I was worried about! It sure was nice to get out and do something!
BrynLee had developed an infection Monday or Tuesday sometime and they were running cultures every day trying to figure out where the infection was.. She has a PICC line in, which is a central line that goes in the arm and goes clear in to just above her heart.. They were thinking it could be an infection in that, anywhere in her body, or spinal menengitis.. It was scary to hear spinal menengitis.. That's the last thing we needed! They did a spinal tap Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday we got news that it was clear and the infection was an ecoli infection.. Not great news, but just more annoying than anything.. BrynLee was acting fine, it didn't get her real sick, but it was a minor set back and probably delayed our "go home" date just a little! It was sure great to find out it wasn't something serious though!

gRoUnDhOg DaY

(7/4/11)
Wow, it's amazing how the days are running together! I'm going to sit here tonight and try to catch up the blog with what I can remember! Jocko and I both have a hard time remembering what day it is, let alone what we did yesterday, or last Tuesday! LOL.. We have a the same thing we do every single day, our own little schedule! I usually get up between 6 - 6:30 and either bathe or shower and while I'm getting ready Jocko showers.. We always leave right around 7:30, because that's the soonest we can get into BrynLee's room each day! Then it's feedings every 3-4 hours depending on how she feels.. Sometimes it's only 2 hours, sometimes it's closer to 4, but either way, we don't go far if we do leave! The nurse will call us if she gets fussy and we head back.. It's been like this non-stop for 3 days straight! No time to do anything but feed, pump, eat and sleep! Jocko said last night, "My hell babe, that's all you do is pump!" Uhhh, ya.. Tell me about it! haha..
Anyway, I sure hope I can get caught up tonight and now that we konw where and when we can get internet, hopefully I can stay on top of things a little better!

Off The Vent

(7/4/11)

Monday morning when we got to the hospital they told us they were going to pull BrynLee's breathing tube! That's always good news! I had gone to pump and I got a picture message from Jocko of my sweet baby with a smile on her face! It was the best feeling in the world to see her trying to smile! The tape on her face made it pretty hard for her, but she managed what she could!

We spent alot of time at the hospital that day just roaming the halls and hanging out in the waiting rooms.. They finally pulled her vent later that afternoon and we headed back to the room for a little nap.. It wasn't a long one, but anything is better than nothing!
We did our usual routine and headed back to the hospital at about 7:30 and waited here until the fireworks started.. JoDene, Jocko, Aybri and I all headed to the top floor of the parking garage to watch the fireworks all across the valley.. They were amazing! And everywhere! From one end of the valley to the other that's all you could see! Aybri got tired so we put her in her carseat to watch Mickey Mouse and Jocko and I went back in to see BrynLee for one last kiss.. When we got back Jodi had her on her lap sound asleep!

BrynLee's Surgery

(7/1/11)
I knew we were done getting calls, so I was impatiently pacing and watching out the window for them to walk by.. It was so nice to see smiles on the surgeon's faces when they walked into the waiting room! The surgery was a success!
They had so much to do, and it was such a long surgery, that they were very impressed at how well she did.. There was several procedures that needed done.. They had to close the bladder, close the pelvis (pubic bone), fix the ureters, put stints in the ureters that lead to tubes through the abdominal wall into bags, place a stint in her bladder, also coming through the abdominal wall, make her a new belly button (her's was only about 3/4 inch above her pubic bone, and close the hole in her belly! That is ALOT to do to a brand new baby.. It was a 5 hour surgery!
They said when they got in there her bladder was smaller than they expected and her ureters had to be re-routed, but other than that, everything else went as expected! Because her bladder is so small, they aren't sure if it will ever grow with the rest of her body.. If it doesn't, she will have to have multiple surgeries as she grows so they can go in a resize her bladder.. They will take tissue from her intestines to make a bigger bladder every couple of years.. (Remember, this is if her bladder doesn't grow with her..) Most children with this condition suffer from incontinence.. The lower sphincter muscle at the bottom of the bladder doesn't work correctly and they aren't able to acctually HOLD any urine, so rather than her bladder filling and her releasing it, like normal people do, she will leak constantly.. She will most likely have to have a cath for the rest of her life..
She has stints in her ureters, which drain the urine directly from her kidneys, so the cath that is in her bladder isn't draining much right now.. That is completely normal! She will have the bags removed and the stints taken out 2 weeks post op (if everything goes well) and we'll go home with the cath (stint) that goes directly into her bladder! (again, IF everything goes well! LOL..) She has two braces around her legs, one around her calves and one around her thighs, that hold her legs closed. These are to allow her pelvis and pubic bone to heal. They said that her pubic bone was so spread out that they couldn't get it closed all the way.. Most of the time when they can't get it closed like that it will spread back open, so BrynLee could walk with a little bit of a waddle.. The cath in her bladder and the braces around her legs have to remain for another 2-3 weeks after we go home.. We'll come back down here to get the cath out and see if we can get the braces off.. (This is just a tentative schedule.. Sure would be nice if it all goes like this, but I doubt it will!)
When they closed the hole in her belly it was pretty tight.. They didn't have any extra skin to work with, so they had to just stretch the skin she already had.. They said they did get it closed, so that was really good news! They also made her a cute new belly button! We didn't get to see that for a couple of days, but once we did it sure was cute! It probably won't look natural, but it's better than what she had!
So we have alot of IF she does this and IF that goes as planned, etc.. But eventually we'll make it home! :)

Friday, July 1st, 2011

(7/1/11)
It's been a few days since I posted anything so I'm going to update, but I'll try my best to not go out of order! Thursday night Jocko and I got into the Ronald McDonald house and his parents got a hotel room.. It was so nice to finally have an actual bed to sleep on and not a rock hard couch (if you can even call it a couch!).. I remember waking up Friday morning and when I opened my eyes I squeezed them back shut as tight as I could and thought, "NO, this isn't happening, this was a dream and I was supposed to wake up and go to the hospital and have this baby today!" I kept telling myself this over and over, but when I opened my eyes again I was still there, in the room that was not mine and still had this ache in my heart! I lost it.. I was sobbing uncontrollably and Jocko woke up asking me what was wrong.. I couldn't talk I was crying so hard so he asked if I was in pain, I just shook my head.. Then he knew it was my heart that was breaking! He did what he always does when I'm upset.. He put his arm around me and just held me until I calmed down..
I will only share this publicly once, and then I'll deal with it from here on out.. But I have to ask one time.. I have to ask you, I have to ask Him, only once.. Why HER?? She's the most precious, peaceful, content, beautiful little baby! Why? Why a lifetime of trials and surgeries and pain? And why ME? I'm irresponsible and a procrastinator and a mess!
And then I think about it and I know why.. Even tho I don't THINK I can handle this, He KNOWS I can.. He only gives us things we can handle right? I sure hope my thoughts catch up with what He knows, because right now I'm still in doubt!
Once I got up and got ready I did a little better the rest of the day.. I did cry when they took her to surgery, but what mom wouldn't! I kissed her little head for the last time at 2:30PM and headed to the waiting room..

My family forced me to eat (who can eat when their kid is in surgery?) but I knew I needed to.. Once I started eating I realized how hungry I was and surprisingly ate a ton! Then we headed up to the family waiting room on the 2nd floor.. My mom, my grandma, Jocko's mom and Aybri were all there with us..

"They just took our sweet baby.. Please, please pray for her!" 2:26PM (7/1)

Aybri did so great for waiting almost 4 hours in a waiting room.. Everyone took turns walking with her and chasing her around!
They called us every 90 minutes or so with updates..
First Update:

"Just talked to the surgical nurse.. She went under great, but surgery is going to take longer than they expected.. Not sure why, we didn't get an answer on that, but should hear more again in about an hour.. I'll update if I can! Thank you for the prayers!" 5:02PM (7/1)

Second Update:

"Just heard from the nurse again.. She's doing great, vitals look great and the dr's are just working away. "Should" be done in about an hour and a half! Can't wait to see my baby! :)" 6:06PM (7/1)

Waiting was alot easier than I thought it would be.. I updated my blog, checked facebook and even chased Aybri around a little bit.. When the doctors finally walked in it was the best feeling!

"She's out, doing good.. We get to go see her soon! Thank u all so much!" 8:05PM (7/1)

When we walked into her room after surgery we were amazed at what we saw.. She looked great! Not too much swelling, great color and she looked comfortable! :)

Continued

(continued 7/1/11)

"BrynLee is doing great today! She's slept almost all night! I still don't know much more than I did last night.. She doesn't seem to be in pain, the only time she cries is when they wake her up for xrays, blood work, diaper change, etc! She's a sweet little angel, so content and just precious! Thanks again for the prayers, thoughts and concerns! I'll post pictures as soon as I can!"  ~  6:59AM

I didn't hardly sleep that night at all.. Every time I fell asleep I'd wake up an hour later in extreme pain. I think it was because I was laying on my side (Jocko and I had to share a hard couch!) and I couldn't roll over or change positions! I tried twice, woke up in pain both times and decided that was enough! We got up and headed down to the cafeteria for breakfast..
The day was slow and pretty much spent going back and forth from the family room we were in to the NICU to see BrynLee. We had several visitors and one of us had to be with them to see her, so we just spent the day escorting!
That afternoon one of the residents came in to talk to us about the surgery and what they had planned. She told us about BrynLee's condition and what they were going to do to fix it..

"We just got more information on BrynLee.. She has what is called Bladder Extrophy, her bladder basically didn't form correctly and is exposed.. They are doing surgery tomorrow afternoon between 2 and 3 PM.. Rather than being round, her bladder is flat on one side, which is the side that is exposed. Her pubic bone is also split so they have to pull it back together.. They are doing the surgery so soon because if they do it in the first 72 hours they can stitch the bones with sutures rather than needing screws or needing a cast! She'll be in a brace type thing that has 3 velcro straps, one that goes around her kneew, her thighs and her hips to keep her legs closed and let her pubic bone heal.. She'll also require a special carseat (which I haven't seen yet and don't know much about) that she can ride in with her brace on! I'm not sure how long she'll be in the brace, I didn't catch that part! They will also be repairing and placing stints in her ureters (SP?) and will most likely suffer from bladder reflux until they can do another surgery to fix that, and the soonest they can do that is at 12 months of age.. She'll be on antibiotics for an entire year to prevent any infections getting to her kidneys and with my family history, she'll need it!!  They will be repairing her genitalia, which are also (unfortunately) split down the middle.. They will pull her labia back together, as well as her clitoris.. We were told that for the most part she will "look" fairly normal.. As of right now they think her reproductive organs are going to be ok, but she'll probably have to have c-sections if she has any babies! They will also be reconstructing her navel because it is so low on her belly. There is only about an inch between her navel and her pubic bone, so they will be moving it up to a more normal location. They said it could be a funny looking belly button, but at this point I don't care what it looks like!
I THINK that's all they are doing tomorrow.. It was alot of information, and alot to take in! She will have to have several surgeries over the years.. They said abdominal surgeries are extremely painful, so she'll be on heavy pain meds for at least a few days after surgery. They expect us to be here for around 14 days! She has to recover, be eating, digesting and pooping before they'll let her go home!
She has been so good.. She's not on any pain meds, and is as comfortable as ever.. Like I said before, she never cries.. Only if you give her a reason! :) I got to hold her today, which was the most amazing feeling. It's so horrible when you can't hold your baby or comfort them when they are crying!
Jocko and I are doing ok.. He's sure taken it hard, but I think he's doing a little better today! I want to thank everyone again for their thoughts and prayers! Honestly, there are no words to express how much we appreciate each and every message, text, phone call, etc! We're tryin our best to keep everyone updated! As of right now it sounds like our kids, animals, house and all that are being taken care of..
If I remember anything that I didn't already post I will add in comments below, but as of right now, this is all I have! I'm exhausted, somehow managing to function on 2 hours of sleep after having the most difficult delivery, not to mention day, of my life!
Keep the prayers coming.. I know they are helping all of us and especially my sweet BrynLee.. She is so comfortable and peaceful! Thank you all sooo much!
With love and appreciation,
   Jocko and Chelsey"  ~  6/30 - 12:28PM

The doctor told us we could hold her so as soon as she left Jocko and I headed in to see our baby! We were upset.. it's alot to take in and hear all they had to do, but we were also happy and relieved.. we finally had a diagnosis and it was manageable! We sat with her for a long time, just the two of us and loved on our baby! I held her and kissed her and loved on her and felt so much peace. It's such a relief to know that you can hold your baby without hurting her!
 

"Just got back from holding my precious baby girl! Jocko & I sat there looking at EVERY picture in our phones! Some went back as old as Austyn being only 2! We talked about every picture while laughing & snuggling with our BrynLee! We miss the other kids so bad we have to look at pictures we've both seen a million times just to keep us sane! Sounds like we'll see our Aybri Jo tomorrow, so that made us both smile!"  ~  1:36PM (6/30)

BrynLee really is the most amazing baby! She's so peaceful, relaxed and content! She literally NEVER cries! The only time I've heard her cry is when they were drawing blood! She had her PICC line put in and didn't even fuss! Most babies have to be slightly sedated but BrynLee didn't even care. She's so tough! When Aybri was in the hospital for her jaundice she screamed the whole time! It was heartbreaking for me as a mother because I had to leave her in the bed to let the bili lights do their thing.. With BrynLee it is so much easier having her in her bed because she's ok with it! She loves her bed!!

That afternoon Jeff, JoDene, Jocko and I all headed to Olive Garden for lunch! It was great, as always, and I finally got my Olive Garden! LOL.. There is a Shopko right there in the same parking lot so we headed over there.. We found a new blanket and toy for BrynLee and I got some clothes for me! It's nice to have something that fits after you have a baby, especially when you're spending your time walking the halls of a hospital rather than sitting at home on the couch rocking your baby! It was nice to get away, but it sure didn't last long before I was ready to come back and be with my sweet girl!
We got a room at the Ronald McDonald house, so after spending more time with BrynLee we headed over there and got things situated.. Jocko's parents ended up getting a hotel so we took them there, went back to the RM house and ate dinner. After dinner I had to get back up to the hospital.. We sat with BrynLee again just the two of us and loved on her.. We did her cares (diaper change, temp, weight and changed sats), gave her more loves and headed to the room to try to get some sleep!

"Headed to bed! I'll never quit saying thank you for all the prayers! I know we are most definately feeling them! BrynLee is so peaceful and it's because of all of your prayers!! I do have to ask for you all to pray extra hard for her tomorrow! For an uncomplicated surgery, for strength for her and strength and maybe a little peace for her mommy and daddy! We love and appreciate each and every one of you!"  ~  11:26PM (6/30)

BrynLee Nichole Hutchison

(posted on 7/1/11)

6lbs 15oz - 19 inches long
Born at 2:15 on June 29, 2011

Finally I have a minute to sit and write about my sweet baby girl! To make it easy I'm just going to add to my posts from facebook! I'm so tired I and have been so tired the last 2 days I know I'll miss details if I don't!

We woke up Wednesday morning at 3:00 to Aybri crying.. Jocko was headed to go get her, but I knew she was going to go back to sleep, so I asked him to wait just one minute and see what she did and sure enough, she went right back to sleep! It was SOOO hot in our room that I had to get up and go into the living room to cool off.. I thought about the time and decided I better just stay up.. I needed to be up by 4:30, so why go back to bed now and risk not getting up on time! We got ready, packed up the kids and headed in..
We got to the hospital just after 7:30, got hooked to the monitors, pit going, and water broke by 8:30! Then, we waited!!

"Well we're here, we're hooked up and just got an epidural.. Still only 3 cm, but should make some progress now!"  ~  9:55AM 

And that's exactly what we did.. Jocko's mom, his sister and my cousin Whitney were all there with us most of the day! It was a pretty boring day for the most part.. We talked and laughed, watched TV, and I slept a little off and on as much as I could - which wasn't much.. It didn't feel like much to me anyway!

"Well, I've only made it to a 5.. Come on baby, mama's tired! LOL.. Up since 3AM, tried to nap, but just too much going on to sleep!"  ~  1:30PM

I had the same problems with this labor that I did with Aybri.. We waited and waited and waited with very little change! I'd dilated only about 1 cm every 2 hours! She checked me at 1:30 and I was a 5.. I had spent alot of the morning laying down, enjoying the epidural and trying to get a nap in! After I found out I was only 5cm I'd decided I had had enough! Let's get this show on the road.. I sat up all the say and leaned forward, allowing gravity to help us out a little bit! About 15 minutes later I told Jocko we better see if we'd made any progress and sure enough when the nurse checked me I was at 8cm! Woohoo, finally! She left and said she' be back in about 15-20 minutes to check me again since I went that far that fast! It wasn't 3 minutes later I told Jocko I was wanting to push and to get her back in there! She came in, checked me and I was a 9, the next contraction I was complete and we were ready to push!
The doctor walked in and the show was on the road! Once we got going we found out that she was turned the wrong way! She was face up and babies have to come out face down! I've been told by people before that Dr. Jeppson is the only doctor in this area that knows how to turn them around so you're not pushing for 2 1/2 hours trying to get an upsidedown baby out! I was also told that again after we had her! I'm so thankful for that! There's no way I could have pushed that long! This was most definately my most difficult labor! My kids usually just fall out! LOL.. I know that sounds terrible, but I've never had a problem whatsoever! Maybe 2-3 pushes and they were here! Not this time! I still didn't have to push an extremely long time, only 30 minutes, but it was a long time for me! I was pushing so hard and just couldn't get her out.. She wasn't coming down very fast and I had SOOO much pressure.. It wasn't pain, but the pressure is SO uncomfortable that it might as well be pain! Once I got her head out we realized she'd had the cord around her neck 3 times! That's why I couldn't get her to come down! Every time I pushed the cord was holding her back! I'm not a screamer, but I sure was moaning and groaning with her! And I was EXHAUSTED! It took every ounce of energy I had! When she was out Dr. Jeppson said "It's a girl!" and I didn't believe him.. I sat up, looked down and sure enough, it was a girl! There's no way!! I was absolutely positive this was a boy! Apparently I was wrong! LOL..

He was sucking everything out of her mouth and nose and she wasn't crying! She was BLUE from the cord being around her neck so he kept sucking and after a minute said, "Ok baby, I'm gonna make you cry now!" I'm not even sure what he was doing to her, but it didn't look too bad to me! I just couldn't wait to have my baby in my arms! I wanted to kiss her and was really starting to get impatient! Then worried because she just wasn't crying! I could see she was breathing and that the blue was slowly turning to pink, but she just wasn't crying! Then all of a sudden I heard the words no new mom ever wants to hear! "I'm going to have to take her over here because we have an abnormality here on her belly!" WHAT? What did you just say? What does that mean? All of a sudden I didn't have any idea what 'abnormality' meant! I was sick! I was heartbroken! I was worried! And I coulnd't see anything... :( I got my phone and sent out texts and another update to facebook!

"It's a girl.. Brynlee Nichole - 6 lbs 15 oz - 19 inches.. She has a hole in her belly and they r sending her to Primary Children's.. Prayers please!!"  ~  2:36PM

Jocko was standing by my side and I could see him trying to stretch his neck enough to see her too! I looked at him and said, "Go be with her honey, I'm fine!" The look on his face, the worry in his eyes broke my heart! 
When Dr. Jeppson was finished with me he pulled my bed out and turned me so I could see (kinda) what was going on! I saw her with a mask on her face.. I saw one nurse rubbing.. I saw another nurse listening to her heart.. And I saw my husband crying..
She didn't stay in our room long, maybe 10 minutes, and they took her to the nursery. I already knew she wasn't going to be able to stay, but when they said the words, "We're going to have to life flight her to Primary Children's!" my heart sank! Only really sick babies go there!

"Thank you all for your prayers! The doctor is in with her now and as soon as I know more I'll update! She's beautiful and looks just like her big sister, except with hair! :) I just wish I could see her!"  ~  2:57PM

Jocko had gone with BrynLee to the nursery and it really wasn't very long before I was able to go too.. I just wanted to see my baby, to see that she was ok, and to kiss her little cheeks! I felt so much better when I got in there.. She just looked like a baby laying in bed! She was pink, she was breathing and she looked absolutely perfect! I knew that under the diaper she had on she wasn't perfect, but I didn't care! She was beautiful and I was in love!
I sat there with her for almost 2 hours! Dr. Jeppson had given her a blessing and I also recieved one from my family! I was instantly filled with peace!
Life flight got there a little after 5 and I kissed her and my husband goodbye and went back to my room. Dr. Jeppson came in shortly after that and said as long as I was bleeding normally I could leave at 9 that night to go be with my baby! That was the best news! I was so affraid they were going to make me wait until the next morning!

"Thank you, once again for all the prayers and concerns, it really means more than any of you know.. I changed the name a little! It's BrynLee.. I liked the L capitalized! :) Her and her daddy made it to Salt Lake about 6:30PM, she slept the whole way! I haven't heard anything since, so I'm assuming no news is good news! The drs are letting me go, so I am on my way down there as soon as Jocko's parents get here!"  ~  8:42PM

Jeff and JoDene got to the hospital just minutes after that update and we were off.. We stopped at my house long enough to grab more stuff for me and some stuff for Jocko and we headed south! The doctor said I needed to get out and walk about every 45 minutes to prevent blood clots, so we stopped in Tremonton to potty and grab something to eat and was back on the road! We got to the hospital (after getting lost) at 1AM, found Jocko, I snuck in and saw my baby for a minute, headed back to our room and went to sleep! I couldn't sleep more than an hour without waking up in extreme pain! I don't know why, but standing was about the only way I was comfortable! I had to wake Jocko up and have him go out to the van and get my pills! I was so tired when I got there that I'd forgot my purse! I couldn't lay back down without being in pain, so I decided to go pump.. When I got done I still couldn't lay down, so I went in and sat with BrynLee.. I sat there for 2 hours! Just watching her and talking to her and telling her how much I love her!

Tomorrow Is The Day

(6/28/11)

Well friends, tomorrow is the day! I'm scheduled to be induced at 7:30AM so as long as they have room for me, we'll be meeting this baby tomorrow afternoon sometime! I went to the doctor yesterday afternoon and was dilated to a 2 and still only 50% effaced.. I couldn't quite talk him into letting me go yesterday, so he called over and scheduled me for Wednesday.. They were full (as far as inductions) for Tuesday, so that's how I ended up with Wednesday! I'm excited, scared, anxious, nervous and so happy all at the same time! I know this is all normal, but the scared and nervous are probably my strongest feelings right now! I just hope life doesn't get as crazy as I imagine it getting!
Of course, my biggest concern is Aybri. I don't want her to feel pushed away, or abandoned by me! She's already a daddy's girl so I think that will help.. If Jocko is home she'll take him over me any day, so maybe it won't be as stressful on her as I think! I know Koby and Austyn will be fine.. It was like nothing changed when we had Aybri, like she'd always been here.. Austyn will be a little mommy to 2 babies now! She still mother's Aybri so much! It cracks me up because Aybri's getting to the point where she's not as easy to manhandle! Austyn will be happy to have another little baby that can't fight back!
I can't wait to hold and cuddle my sweet baby!
If you haven't voted on the baby poll yet, please do so today! Boy is ahead by quite a ways and I'm hoping you're all right! I'll be happy either way, but if I got to pick I'd want a boy.. And I actually think it's a boy so it would be pretty cool if I was right! LOL.. I'm never right about things like that!
We'll be finding out very, very soon! : )

The Whole Story

I started this website when we decided to do a benefit for BrynLee to help get her back east! I just realized that most of our readers don't know BrynLee's story from birth, just from when we decided to seek out the BEST! So, I've decided to tell her story from the day before I had her, up until I started BrynLee's own website! I'm going to cheat and just take the posts from our family blog, but hey, it still gets you the whole story! LOL...
Some of it isn't going to make sense to all you new readers, but I don't have time to sit and edit out all the stories that were continued on from before BrynLee was born!
Please be patient with me, but eventually I'll get all those posts moved over! :)

Cathing is Going Great!

Much to my surprise, cathing is going amazingly well! It's not something I ever imagined myself having to do! To anyone. Let alone my baby! BrynLee's such a tough little thing! She takes it like a champ! The first couple of times she would cry a little, I think more because it was uncomfortable rather than in pain, but it didn't take her long to get used to it. Now she just lays there and eats her cute little toes the whole time! We're getting anywhere between 15-40mls, depending on the time of day. I usually get the most in the morning and it just gradually decreases as the day goes on. The last cath of the day I usually get about 15mls. Sometimes she'll surprise me and we'll get alot more than I expected, but that's ok, the more the better!
Up until the last 2 days or so BrynLee would NOT put any weight on her legs! I've had her in her Jumperoo for a while now and she'll jump in that, which obviously requires her to put weight on her legs, but when I hold her up and try to get her to stand her little legs just hang there like broken sticks! I was worried about it, but her urologist didn't seem too concerned. Well all of a sudden, she wants to stand! WOOHOO! She even arches her back and throws a little BrynLee fit if you try to set her on her bum! :) It's nice to see her get mad about something and have a little stubborn-ness because she's always just been so laid back! She may have a little Hutchison blood in her after all! LOL.. :)
She's also eating her little toes! That is my absolute favorite thing for a baby to do! I loved the look on her face the first time she saw her toes! She'd pull her feet up and the look on her face said, "Where the heck did these things come from!" Then she'd put her feet back down, bring them back up and she was surprised all over again! LOL.. It didn't take her long to decide she'd like to put these new mystery toes in her mouth! Now that's all she does! She even gets fussy when I put her in jammies with feets in them because she can't get to 'em! :)
At her last appointment she weighed in at 13lbs 4oz! She's getting SO big! We also did measurements and she's got an average sized head, she's right at 50% on her weight and she's a whopping 96% on her height! WOW! I knew she was long, but that number just shocked me! Those of you that know Jocko and I can appreciate why we're so shocked to have a baby in the 96% on height! I'm sure it won't last long, but hey, we're impressed for now! : D
Right now we're treating BrynLee for an infection. She has a bacteria called Pseudamonas in her system, which she's actually had for a while, but her counts are getting really high, even though BrynLee isn't showing any symptoms of having an infection! :( We're currently on day 2 of a 10day treatment of Cipro and then we'll be checking her levels again! If her Pseudamonas isn't down SIGNIFICANTLY we'll be admitting her into the hospital for a 5-7 day IV treatment. If that doesn't work, I don't know what the hell we do! I just pray that something helps! We've tried the Cipro before and it didn't work then, so I'm a little skeptical that it will work now, but we have to do something! Her last dose of the Cipro is on the 12th, so we'll test another sample on the 14-15ish, and we'll have results back on the 18th.. If it's not gone, guess where we'll be for Christmas! Yep, that's right! Primary Childrens! I coudn't think of a better place to be! ; )
Hopefully between the cathing and the Cipro we'll get little missy back to 100%.. (I'm not sure if she's ever even BEEN 100%)

2 Days

Our trip to Primary Children's was actually alot of fun! I hate that we're going to Salt Lake because we have a sick baby and have to spend most of our time down there in the hospital, but we really try to make the best of it while we're down there and enjoy ourselves at least a little!
My husband and I decided that he better save his vacation time for something more serious than tests, so he didn't go with me this time! My grandma went instead and I should have known how much fun it would be! We headed out around 9:30 Monday morning and made a straight shot for Salt Lake.. Not even a single stop! That's pretty good for me! LOL.. We made it early enough to spend a little time shopping before we had to head up to the hospital! We hit ShopKo and I am now so close to being finished with Christmas it's not even funny! I've never been done shopping this early and it's kinda a nice feeling! :)
We got to the hospital and NOBODY was in the waiting room at radiology! That's never happened! There's usually a zoo in there! :) We checked in, sat down and just a minute later they were calling BrynLee's name! Another shocker! We went in and missy was asleep so they gave me the whole rundown of what we were going to do and then I woke her up and got her undressed! She loves to be naked, so she was in heaven!
She gave me a little funny look when they put the catheter in, but that was about it! She didn't cry and was very good through the entire process! They got 15ml out and were able to get 55ml in, so her entire capacity (kidneys, ureters and bladder) is 55ml. Really not all that helpful, but still nice to know! :)
The tech was taking pictures and I asked, "Are her ureters supposed to be that big!?" She looked at me and said, "The radiologist will be in soon and she can answer your questions." I knew the answer to my question as soon as she said that! And sure enough the radiologist confirmed, her ureters are severely dialated! Probably about 3 times their normal size! She said grade 3 reflux is dialated ureters and grade 4 reflux is loops, bends and twists in the ureters. BrynLee has one lilttle loop, kinda like a swirl straw, so they rated her between a 3 and a 4. Grade 5 is the worst, but I'm not sure what all a 5 entails! I'm not sure I want to know! Her little bladder looks amazing though! As amazing as a bladder can look I suppose! It's nice and round, and fills and empties right along with the best of bladders! :)
We left the hospital and checked in at the Ronald McDonald House! That place is nothing short of amazing! It's not a 5star hotel, but it's comfortable, like a 2nd home! And that's exactly what it is for us! :) I feel comfortable there and that's more important that room service or a swimming pool!
My cousin Nichelle stopped by for a quick visit! It was so nice to see her! Even with her closer we still don't get to see her as much as we'd like! (hint, hint Shellie!)
Then grandma and I packed up miss BrynLee and headed to have dinner with the Beesley's!
*Those of you that follow BrynLee's facebook page may be familiar with this family, but for those of you that don't I'll introduce you! When we got to Primary Children's there was a VERY sick little boy next to BrynLee.. When I say very sick I mean VERY SICK! I'll never forget the 2nd day we were there. It was the day before BrynLee's surgery and we were able to just sit and hold BrynLee and play with her and love on her all day! At one point during the day Jocko and I were in the room holding BrynLee, talking to her, loving on her and giggling over all the cute little things she was doing! When we got up to leave I turned around and this little boy's mom was standing over her son crying! At that point I still didn't know what was wrong, but I instantly knew it wasn't good! I felt so guilty that we were holding and loving on our baby while she wasn't able to do more than touch her baby's hand. We were laughing and so proud and she was crying and her heart was breaking for her sick baby! I believe it was the next day that we started talking with this family and still to this day we've remained great friends! Those 2 are the only reason I made it through those 3 weeks! They even made a trip up to Malta to come to BrynLee's benefit dinner!
Anyway, we went to dinner at an amazing Brazilian grill! I still can't remember the name of it to save my life, but it was simply to die for! The food was delicious and it was alot of fun! I love catching up with them! I love talking medical with someone that understands it! :) I love seeing their little man and the progress he's made! I just love them period!
The next morning we were up and out by 9.. BrynLee's always up by 6-6:30, so we didn't have the option to sleep in, even if we wanted to! When grandma rolled over she said, "Is it 9 yet!" Nope, but it will be in about 3 hours! :) hehe...
We hit a Mickey D's and headed out shopping again! We had 2 hours and it was alot of fun! BrynLee slept the ENTIRE time! She woke up just before we got to the hospital! Perfect timing! :)
We met with the dr and learned what we pretty much already knew! Her reflux was between a grade 3 and a grade 4 and although they didn't like to do this surgery (reimplant the ureters) until they are over a yr old, BrynLee was probably going to force us to do it sooner! I asked if we could try cathing for a few months before we decide on a surgery! It will at least buy us some time and let BrynLee get bigger! They like to do this surgery between 14-18 months and she's only 5 months! I'd really like her to be bigger..
I really love the team we work with at Primary's.. Dr. Wallis and his nurses are simply amazing! They've always been so helpful with everything, even my stupid questions! :) They let us watch a video on cathing and then helped me cath BrynLee for the first time! It really wasn't as scary as I imagined it! It was very easy, she wasn't uncomfortable, just a little annoyed maybe, and it was over before we knew it!
We headed toward home, made a few stops, and grabbed some lunch on the way! As soon (like the very second!) as I got home we all headed to Declo to watch a nephew wrestle! It was the perfect ending to my day!
I have been somewhat concerned that I'm not getting much urine when cathing BrynLee, but with each cath I get a larger amount, so I'm not sure what that is about, but we'll stick with it for a while, see how she does and pray it helps!
This is the only picture I took while we were in Salt Lake! It was Monday night after her tests and dinner! She was so tired and feeding her right before bed is my absolute favorite time of the day! It's quite, she's content and we're both just very relaxed! :)